


volumes (that I prize above my dukedom)

by nausicaa_of_phaeacia



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Fahrenheit 451 (Movie)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dystopia, F/M, First Kiss, Phil Coulson-centric, Rising Tide, Suicide (minor character), mention of Phil Coulson/Audrey Nathan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 03:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11455320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa_of_phaeacia/pseuds/nausicaa_of_phaeacia
Summary: Coulson meets Daisy on the monorail.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notcaycepollard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcaycepollard/gifts), [zauberer_sirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the movie Fahrenheit 451](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/305874) by François Truffaut (after Ray Bradbury). 



> This is an AU, obviously, modeled after the film (my apologies to Bradbury, but how could I ever not prefer Truffaut?). I wrote it because notcaycepollard mentioned _Fahrenheit 451_ in their last fic and zauberer_sirin and I both jumped at the reference.
> 
> I love Coulson, I love Daisy, I love books, I love Truffaut and I love Oskar Werner, and company man Coulson is such a Montag.  
> Probably going to post in chapters.
> 
> Written for #happyphilday2, actually (sorry for being late, I was both exhausted and out of ideas)! :)
> 
> Oh, and the suicide is canon (not a main character).

_Do you ever read the books you burn?_ , Daisy asks him, and _Did you know the Firemen used to extinguish fires?_  
He'd met her on his way home from work, clinging onto the handles so as not to suffocate the young woman next to him, and she'd guessed his profession by the scent of kerosene that followed him everywhere. She was just another woman, a woman like his wife, but he'd never seen anyone so unlike anyone else. He'd wonder why they never crossed paths before, since she's his neighbour. 

She looks just like Audrey, but with shorter hair, and still, she's so much unlike her in every way. He tells her the Firemen are an integral part of S.H.I.E.L.D., that they are actively reducing conflict potential in today's society, that they are looking after people by protecting from things that have the potential to instigate disagreement.  
_By rendering them incapable of using their intelligence without the guidance of another_ , she says, and it sounds like he should know why she's phrasing it in such a particular way, like he should know who said that before her, but he doesn't.

The following Monday, he brings home a book, he steals it, pockets it. It feels ridiculously heavy on the monorail home, like it could betray him any minute. Audrey doesn't hear him open the door, she's listening to her _cousins_ talking to her through the screen, and it suddenly hits him for the first time that she never notices when he's home. He quickly hides the book in a cupboard, then goes to hug her. _To learn how to find, one must first know how to hide._  
As usual, his wife doesn't turn around, only touches his forearms with her fingertips, and while he's thankful that she doesn't see the heat in his cheeks, that she won't be able to guess his secret by looking at him, it seems illogical for her not to be looking at his face when he greets her.

 _Of course I'm happy_ , he'd said, as if it had been an absurd question on Daisy's part to ask. And still, as he gives himself another moment to see if Audrey is going to turn around, he gets the strange feeling she might have seen something that he hasn't, and it makes him scared to look at the book. Instead, he tells Audrey he's probably going to get a promotion, and when she doesn't seem to have heard, he comments on the TV presenter. His wife says it's weird of him not to like any of the presenters, and silently, Coulson agrees. It's weird because it's different.

Daisy is different. When he meets her on the monorail the next time, she looks tired, and Coulson thinks, maybe it's the same thing that happened to Audrey last week, maybe she needs to have a blood exchange, maybe that's going to give her cheeks some colour again. He asks her if she's alright, and she tells him she's lost her job as a teacher. Coulson can't imagine what he'd be doing if he lost his job as a Fireman. But there's no reason he should lose his job, and he wonders what she's done.

 _They disapprove of me_ , Daisy says, with a gesture that would like to say: I don't care if anyone disapproves, but her eyes betray her, her eyes look worried. Coulson tells her she probably got dismissed because she's different, and that earns him a smile, and he remembers thinking that's strange. _Do you ever read the books you burn?_ , she's asked him when they had first met, and when he gets home that night and Audrey doesn't notice, he steps on the kitchen stool to reach the book, struggles to read it without reading out aloud. 

It starts, _Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show_ , and Coulson wonders why he's never thought of himself as the hero of his life, or of anyone as a hero, for that matter. He wonders if Daisy does.

He tells her she should go back to the school, see if there's anything she could do to get her job back, and she says she won't do that on her own. The whole building is buzzing as they arrive, and Coulson wonders why he doesn't remember school being like this, why he doesn't remember it being everyone chanting the same multiplications at the exact same time, as if the mass of pupils only had one single voice. He wonders why he feels so uncomfortable, wishing for something to be different than it is.

They run into a child in the hallway, and the child runs away from Daisy, and it makes her cry. It makes her cry and lean against him in the elevator. It makes her hug him, hide her face in his shoulder. Coulson freezes at first, because this isn't what he usually does, this is, in fact, _very_ different, but Daisy is shaking and she sounds like she needs a friend, so he puts his arms around her. To his surprise, hugging feels like something he misses, like something he should have been doing all this time, and not just when Audrey pushes her leg against the back of his knee to make him fall back onto the bed. 

It makes him say, _I'm getting promoted, I'll talk to your principal myself_ , and to his surprise, she pulls away from him, asks him _Why?_ , why he chose this line of work, and then she tells him something that scares him, she tells him he's different. _You're not like them_ , she says, _When I say something to you, you look at me_.  
_Last night I read a book_ , he finally replies, leaving her in the elevator as the doors open, hurries home without looking back, as if she's found out something crucial about him, as if her words alone could get him into trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, he spends in the kitchen, with Audrey fast asleep thanks to the different pills she always takes. He's stopped taking them, letting Audrey reprimand him by telling him everyone takes them, and that he could get a blood exchange anytime if he was that worried about their effect. It's very silent in the neighbourhood, everybody is sleeping at the same time, and Coulson is even a little worried about turning on the lights, so he reads with a torch in hand. That's not ideal, and after a while, when his eyes get a little tired, he starts reading the book out aloud.

He doesn't realize it getting lighter and lighter outside, he's determined to finish another book before Audrey wakes up. He's almost finished when a loud noise makes him sit up straight with a jerk. It's Audrey, of course. She's standing behind him, books from his cupboard pooling around her feet. He's about to say something, defend himself, maybe explain, but all she says is _I don't want these things in the house, Coulson, they frighten me_.

It makes him want to shout, but he's too tired for that, he's so tired. Instead, he simply asks, _When did we first meet, and where?_ Audrey looks up in the air, trying to remember, then just shakes her head, shrugs, like it's not a big deal, and Coulson wants to say, _I think that's very sad_ , but his wife disappears into the living room after another gesture at the books. Coulson changes into his uniform, leaves for work.

That day, the Firemen are allegedly being sent to a secret library, and Coulson is shocked at how accomplished he would have felt at that only a few weeks ago, before he'd met Daisy, how hard he would have tried to be at the forefront of things for his promotion. They drive to an old-looking house, definitely much older than the house Audrey and him live in, and he thinks: that can't be a fireproof house. He wonders how it's possible that the owners haven't been forced to move elsewhere yet.

The Captain tells them to search the whole house for books, and Coulson almost wants to cry as they are stepping inside, seeing that the books aren't even hidden. They are on full display, shelves and shelves full of books, and his heart aches at the thought that he could have read all of them, that it would have taken him many years to do so. He's being urged to go upstairs by his colleagues, to help them throw all the books down onto the ground floor, because burning them so close to the roof would be dangerous. He follows, his arms, his hands doing the job, hurling down book after book.

He only stops for a moment when he sees _David Copperfield_ , and it makes him want to throw up, the thought of destroying the one book he first made friends with, taking it away from whoever lives here, along with hundreds and hundreds of other books that have kept them company.  
_They'll never take them away_ , Coulson hears from behind him, and as he turns around, there is an elderly woman standing on the carpet, smiling. It's strange, Coulson remembers her, maybe from the monorail. She doesn't look like someone who's got books at home, and for a split-second, it makes him wonder if he does. 

The woman is gesturing for him to leave, to walk down the stairs to join his colleagues who are pouring kerosene over the large pile of books at the bottom. Coulson takes a peek, and he's never before felt this sure that what they are doing is fundamentally wrong, that what he's been doing is wrong, that he is actually being an enemy. Taking a few steps towards the stairs, he turns back to take another look at the woman, and she's lighting a match. Coulson doesn't immediately make the connection, but then he discovers she has managed to snatch one of the canisters, discovers the visible trace of kerosene on the carpet.

He wants to shout, wants to run towards her, but she drops the match, smiling. She doesn't move even an inch as the whole carpet lights up on fire, as the remaining books in the room join the flame not even a second later. Coulson freezes, then the reality of it kicks in, and he's stumbling down the stairs, yelling for everyone to get out as the stairs catch fire, as the roof starts to crack. Her smile is stuck in his head, and he thinks that through the horror of it, he might understand, he might see why she's glad to perish with her books rather than seeing them burn before her eyes.

 _You see, Coulson_ , the Captain tells him as they watch the fire from the other side of the street, _it's no good_ , and he wishes he actually could reply something to that. _We've all got to be alike. The only way to be happy is for everyone to be made equal._ Coulson wants so shout: I'm glad there are people who are different, he wants to yell: I'm glad Daisy is different, thinks: I wish I was different, but the words get stuck in his throat as he remembers the smile, remembers the pages curling beneath the flames, the words slowly fading into a blackness eating away at the paper.

When he gets home, Audrey is in the living room, chatting with friends, commenting on the TV show running in the background, discussing the hair and makeup of the presenter. He feels like he can't breathe, decides to sit in the kitchen and wait. He flicks through the newspaper, and for the first time, it hits him that it contains only images, that there's not a single word to be found in it, and it makes him unspeakably angry. He thinks about burning it, takes out the lighter he always carries in the pocket of his uniform, flicks it open, stares into the flame. 

His wife comes into the kitchen, tell him he's being rude, asks him if he's feeling unwell. He doesn't know what to say, wants to shout: A woman burned herself alive today because we came to burn her books, but Audrey wouldn't understand, so he doesn't look at her. _The Report Those Who Threaten You Campaign met with particular success today_ , he hears the presenter say, and Audrey hurries back into the living room to listen. Her friends make approving little noises, nodding at each other, and Coulson feels the need to shake Audrey by her shoulders, shake her out of this world she's been told to believe in, to make her see, but instead, he only says, stepping closer, _I saw it._

It makes everyone turn around, and he does his best to describe what happened, tells them what he saw, tells him what he read at night. _But they said wait a few days more, and then wait a few days more, and still she neither ran nor walked. I began to carry her downstairs every morning and upstairs every night. But sometimes when I took her up, I felt that she was lighter in my arms. A dead, blank feeling came upon me, as if I were approaching some frozen region yet unseen that numbed my life._

He doesn't know why, maybe it's a last desperate attempt to make Audrey understand, maybe he's hoping it's not too late to make people see, maybe he just has to tell _someone_ , but it doesn't work. One of Audrey's friends starts crying, and after a few minutes, the guests excuse themselves, with Audrey trying in vain to make them stay a little longer. _You're not living_ , Coulson says, _You're just killing time._

_Haven't you done enough harm already?_ , Audrey asks him, and Coulson goes to the kitchen. He needs to read, there's so much he needs to read, and for a moment, he despairs at the thought that he wouldn't know where to find all those books, how to get a hold of them to read them, so many of them. The world suddenly feels too small, his cupboard is far too small to hold all he needs to read and the night too short. He falls asleep at the kitchen table that night, dreams of Daisy, standing on a pile of books with a match, smiling, and it makes him jolt awake. There are Firemen's sirens coming from the neighbourhood, and his heart clenches at the thought that they might be after Daisy. He rushes to the window, and the only thing that makes him able to breathe again is the fact that there's not a single flame to be seen. 


	3. Chapter 3

_I want you to get rid of those books_ , Audrey tells him in the morning, without mincing her words, even offering to do it herself. _They frighten me_ , she says. He promises to get them out of the house. _After I've read them_ , he can't stop himself from adding, and she says, _I'll leave you. You've got to make a choice._ He doesn't know what to say to that, because the answer should be obvious, and it isn't.

The first thing he does is walk by the house Daisy lives in, and it's eerily quiet. When he spots a neighbour watching TV in the garden, he decides to walk up to her and ask. _They came for her_ , the woman says, _She was different_. She point up to the roof of her house, of her neighbour's house, and then to Daisy's. It takes Coulson a moment to understand, then he realizes: there's no television aerial on Daisy's house. For some reason, it makes him smile.

It also makes him rush to the Firemen headquarters, not late for work yet but desperate to find out what happened last night, maybe find some documents on the mission. He tries to walk slowly as he enters the building, tries not to draw any attention to him. He sees his opportunity when the Captain is called outside because there's some issue with the doorman and slips into the Captain's office, praying nobody's seen him. 

Trying not to put anything out of place, he scans the Captain's desk, but there's nothing to be found about last night, so after giving it only a second of consideration, he breaks into the adjoining archive room, goes through every drawer, frantically running his fingers through tons and tons of mugshots, desperate to find Daisy's profile on one of them, because if Daisy's gone, how is he going to make sense of anything anymore? 

That's when the Captain steps into the room, a few files in hand, and Coulson's at a loss how to explain his being here, stammers something about how he needed to see some identification on last night's arrests, dodges a slightly mean joke about his eagerness from his superior. The Captain shows him his files, telling him it was too early for the new mugshots to be found in the archive. Coulson flicks through the photographs, stops at Daisy's portrait. It lacks the triangular stamp usually placed on all pictures after arrest, and he wants to cry with relief. 

_A friend of yours?_ , the Captain asks, and Coulson tries to explain how Daisy's a mere acquaintance, his neighbour, he'd met her on the monorail, and to his relief, the Captain takes it that he's interested in Daisy's house, which he's all too happy to agree to. The other man explains how the building will only be up for sale when Daisy's arrested, then proceeds to ask him how he got into the archive room, but Coulson can't take it, he sort of faints, sinks down onto the floor. He's surprised at how quick the Captain is to dismiss him, but glad he gets to go. 

When he gets home, Audrey's gone, and her wardrobe with her, and Coulson's suddenly scared she might have turned him in, but there are no traces of fire to be found on the carpet or even in the sink, and his books are still in the cupboard. Relieved, he walks into the nearest bar, orders something strong, hopes it's going to help him figure out what to do next, because it can only be a matter of time until he gets found out, and he won't be able to find Daisy if he's in jail.

 _I got away_ , Daisy's voice says behind him, and he turns around too fast considering he's been drinking for a little bit, _I escaped through the skylight_. It makes him hug her, hug her tight, and if she's surprised, she doesn't show it, because she's hugging him back. Coulson thinks of their hug in the elevator, and while this one isn't anything like it, it makes him realize he's missed this feeling. _You shouldn't have come,_ he says, because it's dangerous. 

_We need to leave_ , she says, and his heart jumps at the thought that she said _we_. He asks her, _Where?_ , and Daisy sits down on the stool next to him, hugs him from the side a little so as to hide her face. She explains that there's a group of people outside the city, by the river, who call themselves the Rising Tide. _The law can't touch them_ , she says, because they don't own books, they _are_ books, each of them has memorized a work and has become it, and Coulson thinks he might become one, he thinks he might know the Dickens by heart. 

And then he thinks he's got the solution, he tells her she should go on her own, that he's going to follow. _I have a plan,_ he says, with his shoulders straight, _I will hide a book in every Fireman's house and then denounce him._ She looks at him like he's an idiot but also like she's a little proud of him, and he feels his heart race in his throat. _The system will eat itself,_ he says, and while he can tell she's very worried about him, she places a small kiss on his cheek, her breath warm on his face, and Coulson's sure he's never felt like this before, not once.

 _Follow the river upstream_ , Daisy says, _until you come to the old steam railway line._ Her eyes lock with his, and he wants to look away, because she's making him feel very warm, but he can't. _Then you go on and you go on until you find us._ She smiles, touches his hand, and squeezing her fingers a little is the best he can do, but it makes him feel more determined than ever before. He nods, twice, making a silent promise, and Daisy disappears through the back door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! :)

_Good, excellent_ , the Captain says when he walks into headquarters the next morning, _You're fit and well again. No time to lose._ Coulson is trying to explain that he came here to quit, that he won't be back tomorrow, but his superior keeps interrupting him, says, _Just this one last call_ , tells him _Not in front of the others_. His colleagues make him get into the car, and Coulson is trying to think of a way to convince the Captain to let him go, when he realizes where they are going.

_This is my house_ , he yells, all caution gone, because even though he's expected them to find out, he didn't think it would be this soon, he didn't think he would be there when they found out. His colleagues laugh, push him inside. _To know how to find, one must first know how to hide_ , the Captain jokes, and they make him show them all his books, put them on the kitchen table. When the Captain says, _I like a man who knows his work_ , Coulson wants to cry, because these are _his_ books, he's read them, he knows them, and he remembers the old woman's smile as she lit that match, reaches for his lighter, then remembers he knows _David Copperfield_ almost by heart, remembers the woman saying, _They'll never take them away_ , and they won't, because the book is in his head, it's safe there.

So Coulson grabs the sparkler, sets fire to the books, then to the bed, to the screen, to the carpet, watches the pages curl and the letters disappear beneath the flames. _Sweet reason,_ the Captain says, _Books aren't life_ , and Coulson wants to say: but they are, they are, directs the sparkler at his colleagues, making them run outside for safety. He waits a little, counting on them to keep their distance to the burning house, jumps out the kitchen window to run into the other direction, towards the river. The monorail passes by above him, and he keeps running and running, knowing his face is going to be on every screen in every household, his name announced through every loudspeaker, the presenter saying, _Let each one stand at his front door_ , telling people to _Look and listen_. He throws away his cap and uniform jacket as he follows the river, up and up. 

He stops running as soon as he reaches the forest on the other end of the valley, trusts the trees to hide him. The tracks beneath his feet end, and Coulson walks out onto a small clearing that he would never have expected to be there, because the forest has always looked dark and thick, impenetrable to the reasonable person. After a while, he spots a man hurrying towards him, considers running, then realizes it must be a member of the Rising Tide.

_I'm – I'm Coulson_ , he says, extending his hand, and the man shakes it with a smile. _Welcome,_ he says, _We know who you are. You're the man of the hour_. Coulson frowns, doesn't understand. _We just witnessed your capture onscreen,_ the man explains, _Congratulations. We've been expecting you._ It makes Coulson feel strange, like he was supposed to be here all this time, like this is the place he was always meant to be.

_I beg your pardon,_ the man says, introduces himself as _The Journal of Henri Brilard_ by Stendhal, and Coulson smiles, replies introducing himself as _David Copperfield_ , adds _Or at least, that's who I'm going to be_ , and it earns him a smile. He shakes hands with other books, meets _Wuthering Heights_ , meets Plato's _Republic_ , books by Camus, books by Allende, and he thinks he might remember a few of the titles from the shelves where he found the second Dickens copy.

_Here, we're only fifty or so,_ the _Journal_ tells him, _But there are many, many more, scattered around_ , and Coulson smiles. _One day, we will be called on, to recite what we've learned, and then books will be printed again,_ the man tells him, and Coulson nods, because that sounds right, that sounds as if that were the way it should be, and he hopes he's going to find another copy of _David Copperfield_ , to make sure he's committed everything to memory.

He keeps looking around in the hopes of spotting Daisy, but she's nowhere to be seen, so he sits down next to the fireplace, trying to remember what he's read. He starts reciting to himself, _Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show_ , and he realizes that Daisy is probably the hero of her own life, that she's fought for that position, and it makes him think: that's what I want to do. 

As he's sitting there, telling the story to himself slowly, seeking the right words, he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder, closes his eyes instead of turning around, smiles, because he knows whose hand it is. _You found it_ , she says, _You're here_.  
_It was a narrow escape_ , he replies, _And I couldn't follow through with my plan._  
_But you've brought a book_ , she says, audibly smiling, touching a fingertip against his forehead, and he nods, feeling so very tempted to open his eyes, but he's too scared she's going to disappear.

He hears her sit down on the chair next to him, feels her take his hand.  
_Hi,_ she says, _Phil_ \-- and he looks at her, eyes wide, because he can't remember anyone calling him by his first name, he doesn't think anybody ever did, not even Audrey, and it feels like Daisy's just reminded him of something long forgotten.  
_You're squeezing a little bit too hard_ , she says, with a smile, and he apologizes, lets go of her hand, wants to tell her nothing makes sense without her, wants to tell her she's the missing part, that she's the reason he's here. But her smile interrupts him, and he thinks he finally _sees_. Daisy pulls him a little closer, leaning in, and all Coulson can think about is how on Earth it is possible that she wants to kiss him. But then. She does.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Tell me what you think! :)
> 
> (The title refers to Prospero's library in Shakespeare's _Tempest_.)


End file.
